Conflict in a virtual world

Author: Aly McNicoll - LEAD Director

Teamwork already requires a great deal of collaboration, co-ordination and communication.

Having been plunged into a virtual world, rethinking how we work together is essential –

not once, not twice but as often as we need whilst we navigate this next phase of return to

work.

It turns out that positive team relationships are a critical factor to engagement and it falls upon

the shoulders of leaders to maintain a team culture that supports people to do their best

work, especially when working remotely. One of the biggest culture killers is conflict within

the team.

Everyone’s brains have been on alert for the last few years, anxiety levels are high and there

is a good deal of uncertainty. Add to this the lack of face to face contact and you can see

why people have become more reactive and quick to take offense. With the absence of

visual and tonal cues in the online environment, misunderstandings are rife and can easily

spill over into the conflict zone.

Here are 5 tips for leaders to better manage conflict in virtual teams:

1. The first and best way to manage conflict is to prevent it. One thing that teams don’t talk

about enough is how they talk to each other. We have a huge opportunity at the

moment for a BIG RESET. It is an ideal time to review team process and renegotiate

rules of engagement, communication agreements and virtual meeting protocols. To

combat the challenges for teams in a virtual environment, we need clear

expectations, good process and great facilitation.

2. If conflict does emerge, step up early at the first sign of trouble. Pay attention to tiny

details – changes in tone in messages, signs of withdrawal, pot shots or comments

that cause others to feel uncomfortable. ‘If in doubt - check it out’ is a great principle

when it comes to conflict management. Stepping up to a difficult conversation early

might be uncomfortable, but will not be disastrous. Address things while they are

small.

3. Give people the skills to talk to each other if there is a problem. Develop a process

for people to use and have a clear agreement that if someone raises an issue,

everyone else will listen with the aim of seeing if anything needs to be done about it.

If something is an issue for someone, it’s an issue. Let’s not waste time debating

whether it should be an issue or not. Take a solution focussed approach, listen well

and see conflict as an opportunity to learn how to work better together.

4. Take it out of the public arena and deal with it in real time by picking up the phone,

arranging a video call or organising a face to face meeting. 86% of people say they

feel more connected to others with videos on. Don’t deal with issues by email and

employ the ‘three times and call’ rule. If you find yourself going back and forward,

talking past each other, pick up the phone.

5. Chunk up to higher purpose. A golden rule of conflict management is to find out

what everyone has in common. Is it wanting to do a good job, wanting to have room

to do what they do best or delivering what the client wants on time? Get out of the

weeds and focus on what is most important, the place where we all agree. Watch

that task conflict doesn’t spill over in to personal conflict. Keep clarifying the issue –

so when you said…. did you mean….? Task conflict addresses concrete issues that

affect people’s work assignments. Personal conflict affects relationships and how

people feel about each other. Keep it real, stay out of the drama and highlight the

difference between ‘I didn’t like that’ versus ‘I don’t like you’.

Aly McNicoll is a Director of the NZ Coaching & Mentoring Centre and works throughout New Zealand and Australia with organisations who want to be more strategic in how they use coaching and mentoring to enhance leadership and performance.

She helps organisations set their coaching strategy, trains coaches plus works with leaders at all levels of the organisation to ensure they can hold effective coaching conversations with their people. She is a regular presenter at international conferences and is a member of the European Mentoring & amp; Coaching Council.